Margaret Jean “Billie” Stout died today. She had suffered from breast cancer on and off for years. At the end it consumed her liver and she was given a month to live.

Billie was my mother-in-law, a beautiful blonde woman of Swiss and Swedish heritage. She was a magnet that drew her family together year after year, despite hardship and scandal and tragedy. She will be sorely missed, the more so because of the generosity, humor, and courage with which she faced her final days.

Billie loved the Lord Jesus.  One of the best memories I have is during her last active days. She waited until almost the end to inform anyone outside immediate family. The day she finally told her childhood friends was hard, starting with indignities associated with a failing body. She spent three exhausting hours explaining her impending death to a series of close friends, terrible news delivered with the grace and consideration of an older age. Finally she begged them to leave, so she could rest.

It was terrifying to see how frail she was. I wasn’t certain she would have the strength to remain alert through the next day. But she greeted the next day with a shadow of her characteristic humor, comforting those who came to comfort her.

That evening she and her daughters pulled out a list and the phone. I presumed these were more notifications of Billie’s pending death. To my surprise, Billie was completing her monthly church duty of gathering reports from the visiting teachers in her district, ladies in the congregation who visit and watch over each other in a web of care and friendship.

The fact that Billie would take the time to ensure her church assignment was complete at a time she was terminally ill was a testament to me of her love for these people who have been her neighbors and fellow worshipers for these past forty years.

Billie was able to remain at home, surrounded by friends and family until the end. She was at peace, i minimal pain, and her sense of humor shone through until the last day when she slipped into a light coma.

When the hospice nurse came after the death, she confirmed that this was a good death – dignified, calm, loving, and with minimal pain. So many she has seen pass badly from this life, without support from family, trying to take care of themselves beyond what anyone is able. They so often die alone, wretched, angry, afraid, in pain.

It has been a blessing to me to be part of the caring circle that assisted Billie in her final illness. I and my children have been forever blessed by the boy she raised who became husband and father to us. Her gentleness and humor shine through in him, and from him are being passed to another generation. I could wish such a legacy, such a life, and such a death for everyone that I know.